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“I’m Just Complaining” & Other Things We Say to Downplay What We Feel [episode 90]

downplay what we feel
Listen to “I’m Just Complaining” & Other Things We Say to Downplay What We Feel on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | your platform of choice

How many times have you shared something hard, only to immediately follow it with, “I’m just complaining”? Or maybe, “Sorry, I’m just bitching.” Sound familiar?

I’ve been hearing these phrases often lately – from clients, friends, and even family. Every time, they land like a little heartbreak in my chest. 

In today’s episode, I’m talking about the phrase “I’m just complaining” and other things we say to downplay what we feel. 

We’ve been conditioned to downplay our emotions, especially in rural life and agricultural spaces, where strength is often measured by how much you can “grit and bear.” Vulnerability gets squashed by shame. 

But here’s the thing: when you dismiss your feelings, you block your body’s natural process to release and HEAL. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it’s supposed to – discharging stress and seeking connection, until your brain swoops in and takes over. It’s no wonder we feel stuck!

It’s time we flip the script and stop minimizing what we’re feeling. Your feelings MATTER – they’re not a burden or a weakness. 

If you need space to unpack something heavy, I’ve recently opened up one-time, 1:1 guidance calls. I’ve been there, and I know how valuable it can be to talk with someone who sees and hears you. I’d be honored to support you, because you are NOT alone, friend!

In this episode, “I’m Just Complaining” & Other Things We Say to Downplay What We Feel, I cover:

  • Why we tend to downplay our feelings + how that keeps us stuck
  • What to say instead of “I’m just complaining” when you need to be heard
  • The quiet power of simply being present for someone in their pain

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More about the Good Movement Draws Good Movement podcast:

In stockmanship (the art and science of handling cattle in a safe, effective, low-stress manner), we have this phrase . . . good movement draws good movement. 

It’s this thing that happens when we ask a small group of cattle, maybe a cow, or a pair to move out in a certain direction and their movement draws the whole herd into moving in the same direction.

Good movement happens when we approach the cattle with a positive attitude, read and really listen to what they’re telling us, and communicate accordingly. 

We don’t approach the aware, flighty cattle the same as we do the tame, docile cattle. We adjust ourselves, our energy, and approach, and communicate with each differently.

These adjustments help us effectively draw good movement from each, which then draws good movement from the herd. But it starts with us.

The same is true for humans. Good movement starts with us.

Welcome to Good Movement Draws Good Movement, the podcast where farmers, ranchers, and rural folks can grow relationally through awareness, understanding, and effective communication.

Hey, it’s me – T. I’m your host, and I, along with my guests, will be covering topics related to drawing good movement – things like self and social awareness, brain science, positive psychology, extending grace, and so much more. 

We’ll share tools that can help you understand why you are the way you are, why others are the way they are, and how you can use that to step out of self-told lies with grace and compassion to draw good movement in conversations, relationships, and life in rural America. 

Tune in every Tuesday and make sure to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode! Let’s go draw good movement!

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