Whose Side of the Fence Is That On? Navigating Responsibility in Relationships [episode 58]
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In the world of ranching, maintaining fences is a big part of managing our land and livestock.
Often, we have agreements (especially with neighbors) about who’s responsible for which section of the fence. In my experience, whether they’re verbal or written down, each party is very clear on who’s in charge of maintaining and fixing each section of fence.
But what about our relationships? We have ‘fences’ to maintain in our human relationships, and these aren’t always quite as clear as the fences we’re fixing on the ranch.
In today’s episode, I’m talking about navigating responsibility in relationships. These ‘fences’ in relationships represent important pieces like boundaries, emotional well-being, and the overall health of the relationship.
It can be challenging when we don’t know whose side of the fence we’re standing on or who needs to take the first step and address a certain situation. We wonder if it’s something we truly need to work on or if it’s the other person’s problem.
There are some key signs that will show you that this particular issue is NOT your responsibility, like how the other person is reacting and patterns that continue repeating.
Choosing to self-reflect, as well as getting curious (instead of judgemental) when these issues arise, will positively impact your relationship and show you a path forward. We can’t always ‘fix’ what’s going on with the other person, but we CAN hold space for them and offer support.
Just like on the ranch, knowing whose side of the fence an issue is on brings clarity, prevents confusion, and may even help prevent future conflict. When we know what we’re responsible for (like fixing our own emotional fences or recognizing that someone else has work to do on their side), we can navigate our relationships with more grace, patience, and understanding!
In this episode, Whose Side of the Fence Is That On? Navigating Responsibility in Relationships, I cover:
- The importance of having clear & established agreements in both your real-life fences + the ‘fences’ in your relationships
- Understanding that sometimes the issue is clearly yours to fix, and other times it is the other person’s
- Signs that it’s not your responsibility/something that’s on your side of the fence
- Ways to help you determine whose side of the fence an issue is on + what to do when it IS on the other person’s side
Resources & Links:
- Learn more and see if 1:1 Good Movement Guidance is right for you
- Join the waitlist for the Good Movement Collective
- Good Movement music by: Aaron Espe
- Podcast produced by: Jill Carr Podcasting
Some links referenced above are affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for your support!
Connect with Terryn:
- Follow on Instagram @terryn.drieling
- Check out my website
- Send me an email at terryn@terryndrieling.com
Related Episodes:
- Episode 51: Practical Tips for Validation: How to Validate and Seek It In Relationships
- Episode 50: Validation Vs. Agreement: Understanding the Difference and Why It Matters
- Episode 36: Boundaries Are Kind
More about the Good Movement Draws Good Movement podcast:
In stockmanship (the art and science of handling cattle in a safe, effective, low-stress manner), we have this phrase . . . good movement draws good movement.
It’s this thing that happens when we ask a small group of cattle, maybe a cow or a pair, to move out in a certain direction, and their movement draws the whole herd into moving in the same direction.
Good movement happens when we approach the cattle with a positive attitude, read and really listen to what they’re telling us, and communicate accordingly.
We don’t approach the aware, flighty cattle the same as we do the tame, docile cattle. We adjust ourselves, our energy, and approach, and communicate with each differently.
These adjustments help us effectively draw good movement from each, which then draws good movement from the herd. But it starts with us.
The same is true for humans. Good movement starts with us.
Welcome to Good Movement Draws Good Movement, the podcast where farmers, ranchers, and rural folks can grow relationally through awareness, understanding, and effective communication.
Hey, it’s me – T. I’m your host, and I, along with my guests, will be covering topics related to drawing good movement – things like self and social awareness, brain science, positive psychology, extending grace, and so much more.
We’ll share tools that can help you understand why you are the way you are, why others are the way they are, and how you can use that to step out of self-told lies with grace and compassion to draw good movement in conversations, relationships, and life in rural America.
Tune in every Tuesday, and make sure to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode! Let’s go draw good movement!
