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How Attachment and Attunement Have Transformed My Parenting [episode 44]

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Listen to How Attachment and Attunement Have Transformed My Parenting on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | your platform of choice

I’ve been talking a lot about attachment and attunement, and how these two pieces have dramatically impacted my parenting journey. In a recent episode, I discussed what I would do differently if I could do parenting all over again. In today’s episode, I want to talk about how attachment and attunement have transformed my parenting, and what I actually AM doing differently, knowing what I know now.

I’ve learned that it’s so important for me to truly ‘feel’ my feelings, and acknowledge what emotions I’m experiencing. I’m trying to be better about approaching my emotions with compassionate curiosity, and fully allow them to move throughout my body, regardless of what they are. Not only is this something I’ve implemented for myself, but for my kids too! Tom and I are both great about encouraging our kids to let out their emotions and completely feel them, instead of ignoring and shoving them down. I’m also choosing to hug my kids when they’re having those BIG, intense emotions that just kind of take over. While this isn’t always received well, it’s really helped to de-escalate the situation quickly, instead of me getting angry and lashing out in a threatening way (which just adds unnecessary fuel to the fire). They’re also coming to us, asking more questions, and eager to have more open conversations.

I’m definitely not sharing all of this to toot my own horn – I’m always learning here on my parenting journey, and I know I’ll never have it all figured out! I don’t believe that being stricter with our kids, and making them feel like they need to behave perfectly or can’t ever express their real emotions is beneficial for anyone. However, building and nurturing a strong attachment with our kids can only result in a positive outcome for our families, and our society as a whole. 

So yes, I am doing things a little differently now that I better understand how attachment and attunement affect myself and my relationship with my kids. I hope my story encourages you to approach your parenting journey in a way that feels good for you and your family, too!

In this episode, How Attachment and Attunement Have Transformed My Parenting, I cover:

  • How I’m now ‘feeling my feelings’, and actually acknowledging my emotions + why I’m encouraging my kids to do the same
  • Why I’m choosing to hug my kids when they’re experiencing really strong emotions, instead of adding fuel to the fire by getting angry myself
  • Being willing to work on our confidence and asking for support when we get frustrated

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More about the Good Movement Draws Good Movement podcast:

In stockmanship (the art and science of handling cattle in a safe, effective, low-stress manner), we have this phrase . . . good movement draws good movement. 

It’s this thing that happens when we ask a small group of cattle, maybe a cow, or a pair to move out in a certain direction and their movement draws the whole herd into moving in the same direction.

Good movement happens when we approach the cattle with a positive attitude, read and really listen to what they’re telling us, and communicate accordingly. 

We don’t approach the aware, flighty cattle the same as we do the tame, docile cattle. We adjust ourselves, our energy, and approach, and communicate with each differently.

These adjustments help us effectively draw good movement from each, which then draws good movement from the herd. But it starts with us.

The same is true for humans. Good movement starts with us.

Welcome to Good Movement Draws Good Movement, the podcast where farmers, ranchers, and rural folks can grow relationally through awareness, understanding, and effective communication.

Hey, it’s me – T. I’m your host, and I, along with my guests, will be covering topics related to drawing good movement – things like self and social awareness, brain science, positive psychology, extending grace, and so much more. 

We’ll share tools that can help you understand why you are the way you are, why others are the way they are, and how you can use that to step out of self-told lies with grace and compassion to draw good movement in conversations, relationships, and life in rural America. 

Tune in every Tuesday and make sure to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode! Let’s go draw good movement!

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