When the Thing Isn’t the Thing [episode 118]
Listen to When the Thing Isn’t the Thing on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | your platform of choice
Sometimes the thing that sets us off isn’t really the “thing.” A comment lands wrong, or a tone feels sharp. Maybe someone doesn’t respond when we expect them to, or the wrong animal ends up in the sort pen.
On the surface, it looks like that moment is the problem. But more often than not, it’s just the handle our nervous system grabs onto when it’s already overloaded.
In today’s episode, I’m talking about what happens when the thing isn’t the thing. In rural and ag spaces, especially, we’re really good at shoving feelings down and pushing through. What’s underneath that “thing” is usually a whole pile of unacknowledged stuff (stress, exhaustion, grief, burnout, and more).
The moment itself is just the straw that breaks the camel’s back – it’s NOT the full story.
Recognizing when the thing isn’t the thing gives us so much freedom. It helps us stop shaming ourselves for our reactions, stop personalizing other people’s emotions, and create space to get curious about what’s really going on.
It also allows us to extend grace and compassion (without excusing behavior or abandoning boundaries), by remembering that we’re ALL carrying more than what’s visible!
In this episode, When the Thing Isn’t the Thing, I cover:
- How the “thing” that triggers us is often just the surface-level moment
- A real-life ranch example of displaced frustration between Tom and me
- What’s usually underneath the “thing”
- How recognizing when the thing isn’t the thing helps us and others
- Why this awareness creates space for curiosity, boundaries & more grounded communication
- How remembering that the thing isn’t the thing allows us to extend grace & compassion
Resources & Links:
- Join The Draw
- Schedule a free consult and see if 1:1 Good Movement Guidance is right for you
- Check out my merch shop
- Join the waitlist for the Good Movement Collective
- Good Movement music by: Aaron Espe
- Podcast produced by: Jill Carr Podcasting
Connect with Terryn:
- Follow on Instagram @terryn.drieling
- Check out my website
- Send me an email at terryn@terryndrieling.com
Related Episodes:
- Episode 18: Talking Curiosity and Kindness with My Mother In-Law
- Episode 25: The ‘Thick Skin’ Myth and How We View Emotions in Rural America
- Episode 86: What Grace Is (And What It’s Not)
More about the Good Movement Draws Good Movement podcast:
In stockmanship (the art and science of handling cattle in a safe, effective, low-stress manner), we have this phrase . . . good movement draws good movement.
It’s this thing that happens when we ask a small group of cattle, maybe a cow, or a pair to move out in a certain direction, and their movement draws the whole herd into moving in the same direction.
Good movement happens when we approach the cattle with a positive attitude, read and really listen to what they’re telling us, and communicate accordingly.
We don’t approach the aware, flighty cattle the same as we do the tame, docile cattle. We adjust ourselves, our energy, and approach, and communicate with each differently.
These adjustments help us effectively draw good movement from each, which then draws good movement from the herd. But it starts with us.
The same is true for humans. Good movement starts with us.
Welcome to Good Movement Draws Good Movement, the podcast where farmers, ranchers, and rural folks can grow relationally through awareness, understanding, and effective communication.
Hey, it’s me – T. I’m your host, and I, along with my guests, will be covering topics related to drawing good movement – things like self and social awareness, brain science, positive psychology, extending grace, and so much more.
We’ll share tools that can help you understand why you are the way you are, why others are the way they are, and how you can use that to step out of self-told lies with grace and compassion to draw good movement in conversations, relationships, and life in rural America.
Tune in every Tuesday and make sure to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode! Let’s go draw good movement!
