The Unhelpful Things We Heard as Kids and What to Say Instead [episode 142]
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Listen to The Unhelpful Things We Heard as Kids and What to Say Instead on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | your platform of choice
Many of us can still remember phrases we heard growing up, like “Suck it up,” “Because I said so,” or “Quit crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” They were often spoken with good intentions, but they didn’t really allow us to feel safe, seen, and understood.
In today’s episode, I’m talking about the unhelpful things we heard as kids, and what we can say instead. As parents and caregivers, it’s natural to want to fix, stop, or minimize big emotions.
But feelings aren’t problems to solve – they’re signals asking to be acknowledged. Rather than shutting emotions down, we can create space for them by staying grounded, validating what our children are experiencing, and reminding them that their feelings are never too big for us.
And no – validating emotions doesn’t mean allowing destructive behavior. Children need both compassion and safety. When we consistently offer both, we build trust and teach them that all feelings are welcome (even when certain actions are not)!
Parenting isn’t about getting it right 100% of the time. It’s about showing up with humility, extending ourselves grace, and repairing when we miss the mark.
If you need more support with navigating your parenting journey and/or just want to dive deeper on your own healing, I’d love to connect with you. Schedule a free 30-minute call with me, and let’s talk about 1:1 Good Movement Guidance. Don’t forget to mention “castpod” when you book to receive 10% off!
In this episode, The Unhelpful Things We Heard as Kids and What to Say Instead, I cover:
- Common childhood phrases that can unintentionally dismiss emotions
- Why children need to feel safe, seen, and heard
- How to validate feelings while holding healthy boundaries
- Helpful ways to support your kids when they’re having “big” emotions
- Why it’s never too late to change how you parent
- Why grace + repair matter more than you think
Resources & Links:
- Schedule a free consult and see if 1:1 Good Movement Guidance is right for you – mention “castpod” when you book to receive 10% off!
- Check out my merch shop
- Join the waitlist for the Good Movement Collective
- Good Movement music by: Aaron Espe
- Podcast produced by: Jill Carr Podcasting
Connect with Terryn:
- Follow on Instagram @terryn.drieling
- Check out my website
- Send me an email at terryn@terryndrieling.com
Related Episodes:
- Episode 42: What I Would Do Differently in Parenting if I Had It to Do Over Again
- Episode 82: Reflexes, Ropes, and Rewiring Your Response
- Episode 83: Let Them (See You Feel): Raising Resilient Kids by Being Real in Front of Them
More about the Good Movement Draws Good Movement podcast:
In stockmanship (the art and science of handling cattle in a safe, effective, low-stress manner), we have this phrase . . . good movement draws good movement.
It’s this thing that happens when we ask a small group of cattle, maybe a cow or a pair, to move out in a certain direction, and their movement draws the whole herd into moving in the same direction.
Good movement happens when we approach the cattle with a positive attitude, read and really listen to what they’re telling us, and communicate accordingly.
We don’t approach the aware, flighty cattle the same as we do the tame, docile cattle. We adjust ourselves, our energy, and our approach, and we communicate with each other differently.
These adjustments help us effectively draw good movement from each, which then draws good movement from the herd. But it starts with us.
The same is true for humans. Good movement starts with us.
Welcome to Good Movement Draws Good Movement, the podcast where farmers, ranchers, and rural folks can grow relationally through awareness, understanding, and effective communication.
Hey, it’s me – T. I’m your host, and I, along with my guests, will be covering topics related to drawing good movement – things like self and social awareness, brain science, positive psychology, extending grace, and so much more.
We’ll share tools that can help you understand why you are the way you are, why others are the way they are, and how you can use that to step out of self-told lies with grace and compassion to draw good movement in conversations, relationships, and life in rural America.
Tune in every Tuesday, and make sure to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode! Let’s go draw good movement!
